Ant (mrheavyhand)'s video: in times like this i wonder

in times like this i wonder if you peeled back the top layer of my scalp, like, if you managed to slide a finger in and under it like a cereal box lid, glue separating that satisfying snap as you pass through the seal feeling under a car bonnet for the little handle fumbling around running scissors delicately over expectant sticky tape wearing a single rubber glove to enhance your grip strength to twist off the lid adorned with a tin of used elbow grease i wonder what lies under there what colours grey blue deep, dark blue the bottom of the ocean glimmers of gold light dancing on the surface but not quite visible invisible performers ballet dancers tip tap toe-ing desperate to be found to be seen i wonder if you’d marvel or wince bob along to the dancing shapes or recoil in horror a coconut ripe for the hammer a banana, blackened, seeping, edging its treacly mush out of a small slit. paper thin, a paper thing crumpled up and thrown in the nearest wicker basket amongst the packet lids, discarded stickers and films, tissues and floss i will lay and await this ancient sun to shine down once more. and till then i wonder i wonder and i wander the wondrous, wooden shield in hand gripped tightly hoping to find a souvenir a miniature a toy a slice of homegrown joy i hold out my cupped hands as the golden shimmers fall between the cracked and prickled skin, i think I have stayed in the bath too long again.