Benjamin Mackenzie's video: Car Confession: I m struggling with my kids behavior Is it my fault

Discipline or empathy? Confession time: I’ve been struggling lately with my son’s behavior. He’s not a bad kid by any stretch of the imagination, but he feels things really strongly. Truth be told, I don’t always have the tools or the patience to deal with it. My default is to go straight to discipline or correction, and surprise surprise, that hasn’t really worked. What has worked though is this: Getting on his level, acknowledging his feelings, and co-regulating with him. This also gives me a second to regulate myself so that I don’t react so harshly or dismissively about his feelings. As dads, we’re so often put in the role of disciplinarian. But what if we could choose empathy and kindness when big emotions show up? Instead of trying to discipline their big feelings out of them, let’s try to get to the root cause. What’s making them feel this way? What about that emotion is causing their bad behavior? More often than not, I can help him get back on the right foot with a little talk, some regulation, and a big hug. This isn’t to say that discipline doesn’t have its place, but ultimately if we can work through these little things, we can build trust. That trust is going to be critical when the bigger, more consequential issues arise in the future. Build the base now. Respond with kindness, and take a minute to regulate. That’s how we can lead by example, instead of leading by punishment. . . .