Dr. Kimberley Taylor's video: NOTES FROM THE DESK OF DR KIM

THERE ARE A NUMBER OF TOPICS THAT ARE FLOATING ACROSS MY DESK OF NEWS THAT I THINK WE SHOULD BE PAYING ATTENTION TO. YOU MAY BE LIKE ME WHERE YOU GET DIFFERENT EMAILS WITH INTERESTING TOPICS OR STORIES TO READ OR LINKS TO CHECK OUT AND YOU SAVE THEM, FOR WHEN YOU HAVE MORE TIME TO SIT DOWN AND READ THEM. WELL, MY LIST HAS GROWN AND AS I WAS CLEARING MY INBOX I CAME ACROSS A FEW THINGS THAT I THOUGHT WOULD BE OF INTEREST TO YOU. LIKE THIS WHOLE HUGE ISSUE OF CYBER BULLYING, IT SEEMS TO HAVE HIT AN ALL TIME HIGH, OR LOW AS THE CASE MAY BE. IT DOESN’T MATTER WHO THE PERSON IS THESE DAYS, EVERYONE SEEMS TO BE A POTENTIAL TARGET FOR OTHERS TO GIVE THEIR OPINION AND LET ‘ER RIP, WITH NO HOLDS BARRED. AND PEOPLE ARE SAYING ABSOLUTELY HORRID THINGS TO EACH OTHER, JUST BECAUSE THEY CAN. BUT, JUST BECAUSE WE ALL HAVE THE RIGHT TO SPEAK UP AND EXPRESS OURSELVES DOES NOT NECESSARILY MEAN THAT IT IS RIGHT TO DO SO, ESPECIALLY WITH ANONYMITY. DO PEOPLE NOT HAVE FILTERS ANYMORE? WHAT HAPPENED TO MANNERS OR TACT? I WAS READING ABOUT ACTRESS ASHLEY JUDD, JUST THE LATEST IN A SLEW OF STORIES, GETTING BOMBARDED WITH NEGATIVE, THREATENING TWEETS FROM OTHER INTERNET USERS, ALL FOR MAKING A PERSONAL COMMENT OF HER PERSONAL SUPPORT OF A BASKETBALL TEAM OF ALL THINGS. REALLY, IS THIS WHAT WE ARE COMING TO. NO ONE CAN EXPRESS A DIFFERENCE OF OPINION WITHOUT GETTING CONDEMNED OR SHAMED, OR THREATENED WITH SEXUAL VIOLENCE BY SOMEONE WHO DISAGREES? SOCIAL MEDIA HAS BECOME A PLACE OF RAMPANT ABUSE. WHAT I OFTEN REMIND OTHERS IS SOMETHING FROM THE BOOK THE FOUR AGREEMENTS. YOU MUSTN’T TAKE OTHER PEOPLE’S CRITICISM PERSONALLY. EVEN THOUGH IT MAY BE DIRECTED AT YOU, IT IS NOT ABOUT YOU. WHATEVER SOMEONE ELSE IS SAYING, WHATEVER THEY ARE DOING OR THINKING, TELLS YOU THE STORY ABOUT THEM AND THEIR INTERNAL WORLD, IT DOES NOT AND CANNOT TELL YOU THE STORY ABOUT YOURSELF. IF SOMEONE CHOOSES TO ACT IN A NEGATIVE WAY, IT IS BECAUSE THEY ARE NEGATIVE, IF THEY CHOOSE TO ACT IN A HURTFUL WAY IT IS BECAUSE THEY ARE HURTING. YES, IT IS TRUE, THAT WHATEVER SOMEONE ELSE IS SAYING IT HAS MORE TO DO WITH WHO THEY ARE THAN IT WILL EVER HAVE ANYTHING TO SAY ABOUT WHO YOUR ARE. OVER THE YEARS I HAVE BEEN ASKED A NUMBER OF QUESTIONS ABOUT THERAPY AND HOW THE WHOLE PROCESS WORKS AND EVEN WHY IT WORKS. THESE ARE ALL IMPORTANT QUESTIONS TO CONSIDER WHETHER YOU ARE ENTERING INTO THE PROCESS, OR HAVE BEEN IN THERAPY FOR A WHILE. IT CAN OFTEN SEEM LIKE A MYSTERY TO THOSE WHO HAVE NEVER BEEN IN THERAPY, OR IF YOU ARE EXPECTING A COMPLETE CHANGE OF PERSONALITY THEN THE CHANGES MAY NOT SEEM PROFOUND ENOUGH. OFTENTIMES, WHEN PEOPLE FIRST COME TO THERAPY, THEY EXPECT THAT AT THE END OF IT THEY WILL BE FIXED AND THEN THEY CAN GO FORWARD WITH THE REST OF THEIR LIFE HEALED AND IN THE RIGHT MIND AND THEIR WORK IS DONE. BUT GROWING AND EVOLVING IS A LIFETIME PROCESS AND ONE WE ALL ARE CALLED UPON TO DO ON A CONTINUAL BASIS THROUGHOUT OUR LIFE. WHEN YOU THINK ABOUT IT, CHANGE HAPPENS EVERY MOMENT WHETHER WE WANT IT TO OR NOT, AND WE CAN EITHER DO IT IN A CONSCIOUS WAY OR IN AN UNCONSCIOUS WAY, WHAT THIS MEANS IS WE CAN EITHER BE PROACTIVE IN OUR LIFE OR JUST REACTIVE. BUT NONETHELESS, WE ALL NEED TO BE ABLE TO CHANGE AND ADAPT IN ORDER TO SURVIVE. WHEN YOU ENTER INTO THERAPY, YOU ARE BEGINNING A PARTNERSHIP WITH ANOTHER PERSON WHERE YOU WILL SHARE YOUR THOUGHTS, FEELINGS AND EXPERIENCES WITH SOMEONE WHO CAN HELP YOU LOOK AT THEM IN AN OBJECTIVE WAY TO REVEAL PATTERNS OR DIFFICULTIES THAT YOU ARE HAVING IN BEING TRUE TO YOURSELF OR IN YOUR RELATIONSHIPS WITH OTHER IMPORTANT PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE. THERAPY CAN HELP YOU DEAL WITH NEGATIVE THOUGHTS AND EMOTIONS AND IT CAN HELP YOU TO MAKE POSITIVE CHANGES IN YOUR LIFE. THIS IS ALL DONE WITH SOMEONE YOU CAN TRUST AND WHO HAS THE EXPERIENCE TO HELP YOU UNDERSTAND YOURSELF AND WHY YOU DO, THINK OR BELIEVE THE THINGS YOU DO AND TO HELP REVEAL THE OBSTACLES THAT GET IN YOUR WAY TO HAVING THE LIFE YOU TRULY WANT. I ALWAYS USE A FAVORITE QUOTE OF MINE BY THEODORE ROETHKE, WHICH IS, “IN THE DARKEST TIME THE EYE BEGINS TO SEE”. WHEN THEY FINALLY SURRENDER AND REALIZE THERE IS NO TURNING BACK THERE COMES A BREAKTHROUGH, A GLIMMER OF LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL, AND HOW IT WOULD LOOK LIKE IF THEY WERE ABLE TO CHANGE. AND THE TRUTH IS ONCE PEOPLE CAN SEE THIS LIGHT FOR THEMSELVES, THEY DON’T WANT TO TURN BACK, AND THEY START MOVING FORWARD AND FINDING THEIR OWN LEGS TO CARRY THEM THROUGH. THE TRAINING WHEELS COME OFF, THEY START PRACTICING AND TRUSTING THEMSELVES AND SOON THEY ARE ABLE TO GO IT ALONE WITHOUT THE THERAPIST AT THEIR SIDE. AND THE TRANSFORMATION HAS OCCURRED. SING UP FOR MY MAILING LIST AND OTHER LINKS BY GOING TO DRKIMTAYLORSHOW.COM. AND OF COURSE, I LOVE HEARING FROM YOU SO SEND YOUR QUESTIONS AND COMMENTS TO ME AT DRKIM@DRKIMTAYLORSHOW.COM.