Dr. Kimberley Taylor's video: WHAT TO EXPECT WHEN YOU ARE DIVORCING

AS A PSYCHOLOGIST IN PRIVATE PRACTICE FOR OVER 20 YEARS NOW I HAVE CERTAINLY WORKED WITH A NUMBER OF COUPLES WHO HAVE BEEN AT VARIOUS STAGES IN THEIR RELATIONSHIP. SOME WHO COME TO WORK TO IMPROVE THEIR MARRIAGE AND OTHERS WHO COME TO FIX A BROKEN MARRIAGE AND THEN, STILL OTHERS WHO ARE COMING TO END A MARRIAGE. I OFTEN GET ASKED; CAN A MARRIAGE BE SAVED WITH THERAPY? IF YOU GO TO THE RIGHT THERAPIST, ABSOLUTELY! BUT, HEREIN LIES THE CATCH; YOU WANT TO GO TO A THERAPIST WHO WILL HOLD EACH PERSON ACCOUNTABLE FOR THEIR OWN ACTIONS. WHAT I ALWAYS TELL A COUPLE IS THAT IT TAKES TWO PEOPLE TO MAKE A RELATIONSHIP AND EACH PERSON HAS TO START TAKING RESPONSIBILITY FOR THEIR PART OF THAT RELATIONSHIP. TOO OFTEN WHAT HAPPENS IS THAT COUPLES BEGIN TO BLAME OR COMPLAIN ABOUT THEIR PARTNER AND THEY DO WHAT I CALL, TAKING THE OTHER PERSON’S INVENTORY, AND FORMULATING WHAT CHANGES THEIR PARTNER SHOULD OR COULD MAKE WITH VERY LITTLE TIME SPENT LOOKING AT THEMSELVES AND ASKING, WHAT AM I DOING HERE THAT IS HELPING MY RELATIONSHIP AND WHAT AM I DOING THAT IS HURTING MY RELATIONSHIP. THE TRUTH IS THAT NO RELATIONSHIP CAN STAY THE SAME IF EVEN ONE PARTNER IS WILLING TO CHANGE AND TAKE A NEW AND DIFFERENT STEP. SO THE FIRST STEP OF COUPLES WORK IS TO HELP THE INDIVIDUALS TO STOP POINTING THE FINGER AT THEIR PARTNERS AND TO TURN THE FOCUS BACK ON THEMSELVES AND TO LEARN HOW TO COME FROM THEIR HIGHEST SELF WHEN TRYING TO DEAL WITH THE DIFFERENCES BETWEEN THEM. IF I CAN GET THE COUPLE TO FOCUS ON CHANGING THEMSELVES THEN I HAVE A FORMULA TO MAKE POSITIVE CHANGES IN THE RELATIONSHIP. REMEMBER, IN A RELATIONSHIP, YOU HAVE FAR MORE CONTROL OVER BEING ABLE TO CHANGE YOURSELF THAN TRYING TO CHANGE SOMEONE ELSE. NOW, HAVING SAID ALL OF THAT, THERE ARE TIMES WHEN A RELATIONSHIP IS OVER AND THE MARRIAGE IS HEADED FOR DIVORCE COURT. HOWEVER, THE SAME PRINCIPLES APPLY AND EACH PERSON NEEDS TO LOOK AT THEIR OWN BEHAVIORS AND DO WHAT WILL MAKE THEM PROUD OF THEMSELVES AT THE END OF THE DAY. IT IS SO EASY TO ACT OUT ON IMPULSE AND REACT EMOTIONALLY, BUT WHEN WE HOLD OURSELVES TO A HIGHER STANDARD AND ACT IN WAYS THAT MAKE US PROUD OF OURSELVES THEN AT LEAST WE CAN FEEL GOOD ABOUT WHO WE ARE AND NO LONGER NEED TO FEEL THE VICTIM OF SOMEONE ELSE’S BAD BEHAVIOR. TODAY WE ARE GOING TO TALK ABOUT WHAT HAPPENS WHEN A MARRIAGE IS HEADED TO DIVORCE COURT. THERE IS NO ONE WAY TO DIVORCE AND NO MATTER HOW YOU SLICE IT, DIVORCE WILL TAKE A TOLL ON THE PARTIES INVOLVED. JUST THE EMOTIONS ALONE THAT COME UP DURING THIS TIME CAN MAKE IT VERY DIFFICULT TO NAVIGATE YOUR WAY THROUGH THE LEGAL PROCESS AND IT MAY EVEN IMPAIR YOUR ABILITY TO MAKE GOOD DECISIONS. SO TODAY MY GUESTS ARE SUPERIOR COURT JUDGE GEORGE ESKIN AND LAWYER AND MEDIATION EXPERT, PENNY MATHISON TO DISCUSS THE PROCESS OF DIVORCE AND WHAT YOU SHOULD KNOW BEFORE BEGINNING. SO IF YOU HAVE A NEED TO CALL AND HAVE SOME QUESTIONS THAT WE CAN ANSWER HERE FOR YOU, GET ON THE PHONE NOW AND GIVE ME A CALL AT 805-564-1290 OR TOLL FREE AT 866-564-1290. OR SEND ME AN EMAIL AT DRKIM@DRKIMTAYLORSHOW.COM AND WE WILL TRY TO ANSWER YOUR QUESTIONS ON AIR. LET’S NOT FORGET THAT I AM HERE FOR YOU AND YOU ONLY HAVE TO PICK UP THE PHONE AND GIVE ME A CALL, I’D LOVE TO HEAR FROM YOU.