Hal Emmerich's video: I Am the Cosmonaut

It's okay, Abigail. It's okay. I'm on that mission too. Very rough draft/demo of the song. Lyrics are a mish-mash of an aborted song I did called "The Ballad of James McCloud" that I began retooling as "I Am the Cosmonaut" because I felt that some of the isolation-driven lyrics thematically tied in with Philosophy Tube's cosmonaut video. Unfortunately, this comes across as a super-fractured narrative that sometimes doesn't make sense. Everything feels too impressionistic for a narrative-driven prog song about a guy trying so hard to think of himself as a cosmonaut when he wants to end it all - and that's in an otherwise impressionistic genre. Also a lot of the lyrics (especially for chapters two and four) are placeholders just to get rhythms and a somewhat basic sense of the melody down. This is very much a demo - so don't expect any sort of perfection or, hell, quality. Expect something very raw. And that opening tag at the beginning is supposed to be my own version of the intro to Brinsley Schwarz's "Ballad of a Has-Been Beauty Queen." Might 86 that. Might not depending on how others feel about it. Might move it as one of the instrumental interludes. _________________________________ Chapter One: The Cosmonaut I drift into the blackness of the cosmos emptiness surrounds my at all times maybe it's energetic, but what do I know? Beyond I journey to distant light they say I'm just a spaceman for hire but I don't like to think of it that way doing good so things don't get so dire it's mere duty - to me, the stars call my name And out I go to the endless dawn behind me, a ray with a pale blue dot and out I go to the black beyond leave it all - even what is fond I drift into the interstellar space satellites nonfunction drift on by out here it feels I'm less insane hydrogen ticks down to the end of time but I know I have a job to do wondering why this life had sold me out I want to think that I'm just confused I drive off, I don't make a found And out I go to the endless dawn behind me, a ray with a pale blue dot and out I go to the black beyond leave it all - even what is fond Chapter Two: The Black Beyond I drift into the stars, leaving it all behind lonely trip on my airship, go down the line Confronting the whole lot as they go insane convinced they can end it all with a bang I've been tasked to bring it all back alive what can a hunter do but slowly resign I'm sure it's all a trap, it kept calling for me not like I'd care, end this misery... Chapter Three: Breathe In, Breathe Out It's shaking...it's shaking... ...it's shaking...it's shaking... I AIN'T GONNA MAKE IT On board my rocket ship too late to turn back now I try so hard not to make a sound just to get through this little trip like the pioneers once upon a time new worlds they soon will find singing my danse macabre I am the Cosmonaut Breathe in, breathe out, you'll return and I won't doubt, you must be yearning make it through, pull it together, hey you got through the weather - you don't say? Mechanical sounds from the rust bucket falling apart, my luck not so well-spent I know I'm not crazy - it just makes sense I'll make it through, come down at the bitter end Breathe in, breathe out, you'll return and I won't doubt, you must be yearning make it through, pull it together, hey you got through the weather - you don't say? Get it together, man climb out from the sand we're part of one scratched-up band so the life we lead ain't too grand the Cosmonaut reaches forth unsheathes his rusted sword his soul all tattered and torn his spirit very worn Chapter Four: Something Meaningful I'm as useless as a Donnie DuPre can't latch to the old scenes in my dreams I'm obsolete the way life assigned me always working for free His accident wasn't a coincidence, I know to my surprise, I got tickets to that show I'm hanging on and it clearly shows and so I know, and so I know, and so I know the Cosmonaut takes off, and there I go, spaces naught spaces inbetween, misery of endless scenes Floating up and down, in the town, all around there's no thrilling sound, but a whine, can't be my time I must survive, so alive, so fucking cold smiling up and down, solo the Cosmonaut takes off, and there I go, spaces naught spaces inbetween, misery of endless scenes I'm coming down Chapter Five: The Return I drift down to the atmosphere and it shakes all around, what I fear the seers at Moscow wait for my transmission at this point, it's wishful thinking will I survive this brimstone death? gnash my teeth, make amends, and wept whatever is Heaven-sent is what comes next the capsule glows inside a deathly red I don't wanna die...I don't wanna die... I musn't run away...I musn't run away... I MUSN'T RUN AWAY! And there I splash down into the ocean! and I'm soothed by the rocking motion and I cry - I'm just glad I'm alive I'm glad the pain has substanded! I am the Cosmonaut! UPDATE: Abigail came out