Ian Black's video: Poetry Reading - Broken Beautiful

https://ianblackpoet.wordpress.com/2020/06/12/broken-beautiful/ Broken/Beautiful She loves me not! Her hollow words Like thunderbolts tore ribbons through My heart; with callous fiction blurred, Is anything I cherish true? I held you safe against the dark, And saw the light behind your eyes; I felt my destiny in sparks, And timeless hope at last arise. I promised you that I would stay, And loving you I felt complete; A purpose filling every day, This bitter life became so sweet. I soothed your mind in times of grief, And made confession as you slept; I placed my trust into a thief – And as you stole from me, I wept. You stole the countless hours I spent To fuel a love that was not there; While every word I said, I meant, You just pretended that you care. You stole from me, from us, a life: ‘Our future’ was a joke to you; To be as one in joy and strife – You never did, nor wanted to. With every sacrifice I made, Requesting nothing in return, My love was once again betrayed As you prepared to watch us burn. It never mattered how unfair, How cruel and selfish you could be; Oblivious to my despair, Still you were all the world to me. You shut me out, you pulled away, And I did everything I could; My life was yours if you had stayed – Forgiving, as I always would. I felt your judgement when I said You were the sum of all my dreams; But in your wake my dreams are dead, And still you don’t know what love means. Should I have visions of acclaim, Or covet treasures of the age? Would you respect a lust for fame That no distinction would assuage? Was I diminished for my zeal, A lesser man for knowing this: If anything in life is real, I found it in your tender kiss. No, I will not apologise For my ambition set in stone: For all that matters in my eyes Is you, my love, and you alone. With everything you have endured, The scars you carry in this life; I thought compassion was assured – My ‘other half’, my ‘would-be wife’. You held a mirror to my soul, And told me what I long to hear; What purpose served your spiteful role, Becoming that which I had feared? You do not claim to love someone, You do not promise you will stay, Nor offer dreams to build upon Then break their heart and walk away. As bitter as I sound, I am – And still I cannot love you less; My pride and broken heart be damned, I live and die with your caress. You hurt me, and you didn’t care, You walked away when needed most, You sullied every word we shared… And still I long to have you close. I write for your eyes even now – It’s not a stranger, friend or me; If you can find these words somehow, Then maybe I can make you see. If terror drove you to your flight In fear that you would be ensnared, Do you rejoice to see me fight For us, and lay my spirit bare? You know that you were safe with me, Your body, heart, your soul and mind; You were and are and would be free To live a life that you define. Do you now see that you were held Not as a prize or precious stone, But in this heart that loved you well You hold a power all your own. Should we look back and hold regret For loving only to be lost? Or envy us when he had yet To find that hope would have its cost? Would you have shuddered at my touch If knowing then as you do now? Or savoured every glance as much And tried to make it work somehow? Though pain has never hurt like this, Nor loss been known to cut so deep, I won’t regret a single kiss Nor minute of surrendered sleep. I won’t regret that I have fought, And fight to save us even now; Should all my efforts be for nought, I will uphold my solemn vow. I dare you, coward, find your heart! It’s beneath you to surrender; We are not meant to be apart – This I need you to remember. You may decide to start anew With someone half a world away, But someone here and now loves you Much more than words could ever say. Break my heart again, so be it, But walk the hardest path of all; Do not give up, and never quit, And I will never let you fall. Nothing on this earth could stop us, If you would only take my hand; Return my faith in you, and thus Begin the life we both have planned. But if you shun the touch of fate – The greatest happiness I’ve known… A part of me will always wait For you, my love. And you alone. Poem Poetry Reading Author Former Professional Poet Ian Stewart Black Relationship Breakup Break-up Grief Pain Marriage Future Past Present Relationship Relationships Promises Disappointment Hope Lies Abuse Betrayal Toxic Manipulative Gaslighting Ghosting Ghosted By Someone Who Promised To Stay Forever Ghost I Gave You My Heart And Soul Scotland Scottish Accent Voice Audio Original Content Kitten Wolf Other Half Glasgow Dumfries 23 23rd March 2020 23 6 6th July 1992 Plans Prospects Discord Meeting Reddit Moon Proposal Fighting Never Giving Up On Someone You Love Forlorn Unrequited Love English Student Degree I Would Have Gone With You To The End Into The Very Fires Of Mordor