JJonthemic's video: JJ s TRUTH: In Love with a Narcissist -INTUITION

Trusting your intuition is quite challenging for some of us. We want so badly to see the good in people that we brush to the side what we feel in our gut. Sometimes it's because we desire love so badly that we tell ourselves what we see or hear...isn’t THAT BAD. We must learn to trust our intuition. It will save us a great deal of pain. ————————————————————— As women, we sit in silence way too often, afraid to express how we really feel because we may come across as angry, bitter, negative or too sensitive. We even keep silent to protect those who have hurt us. We are afraid to tell our truth but yet it eats away at our souls as we keep this mask on for people we don’t even know. I’m taking off my mask today. IVE BEEN EXTREMELY ANGRY, EMBARRASSED, DEPRESSED AND IN PAIN. I saw all of the red flags of a narcissist in my relationship but I brushed it under the rug. This narcissist wasn’t like the one i dated over 8 years ago. This package was wrapped differently. THIS one hides behind God. This is why I was so confused. I couldn’t understand how a person could seem so loving, giving, supportive, speak so highly of me on the gram but behind closed doors tear me down. For months, I kept hearing “Jillian, You are broken” over and over. When I would address all the women calling and texting his phone at all hours of the night...I was told I was just insecure and broken. When I addressed his anger and rage over the smallest things, I was told it was my brokenness that had my perspective distorted. I knew it didn’t feel right. On social media, I was his queen...in real life I was told I didn’t have what it takes to be a wife of a man with his anointing and I wouldn’t be able to push him into his destiny. I found myself apologizing for things that I didn’t do because he had me convinced that I was abusing him every time said I wanted to walk away. PairedLife.com writes “malignant narcissists have a talent for getting us to apologize for their wrong doings. This often happens after we make a futile attempt to get them to own up to something. As part of thecrazy making process, they turn it all around and convince us that we were in the wrong. Even if we don’t believe them we end up apologizing to smooth things over.” This was me. ✋🏽 On tour helping students understand what a healthy relationship looks like all while I am not even in one myself. Im standing on stage looking up at a video on emotional abuse and seeing myself in the video. It’s embarrassing and humiliating but I accept this as another lesson God needed to teach me to continue in my purpose. I won’t play the role of a victim. I’m a victor. I’ll let him play that role. They never take the blame for what they did. Deflection, gaslighting and manipulation are their greatest assets. But GENESIS 50:20 I’ve posted 5 videos on my www.YouTube.com/JJONTHEMIC (link in my bio) to tell my truth (the signs I ignored, the charm, my 44 day fast, 30 days of affirmations, God speaks, learning to forgive) and the FACTS on narcissists + an InstaLive convo with my own therapist @Rabiailahi -Wednesday @ 2:30pm •For the women and men who are getting ready to date a narcissist and need to know what to look out for. Here are the signs that I ignored. •For the people in relationships RIGHT NOW who feel something isn’t right. You need to trust that feeling. Period. •For the people who have been through this. You’ve dated a narcissist. The world needs to hear your story. It may not be a book or a blog or speaking to a crowd but a simple conversation with someone, a simple post on social media could SAVE SOMEONE’S LIFE!!!! People need to know they are not alone and that someone understands. In January, I wanted to take my life. I couldn’t understand where that feeling was coming from and now it all makes sense. No one deserves to go through this. The narcissist is very good at keeping a facade of perfection for the public. I was in love with the character that he played but yet I’m still sad for the hurt little boy inside of him that created this “false sense of self”. The pain he endured as child has created this undercover monster. I pray everyday for his healing. I trust that God will get His glory from all of this. . . . .