KirstyTV's video: Incest prostitution addiction his path to healing

Jonathan’s story of incest, abuse, prostitution, addiction is one of the most raw, real & vulnerable guest interviews I have had the pleasure to share. I am so proud of his truth telling and his story of how he found his way to healing… “From 3 years old through when I was 7, I was abused by my mother, father, grandfather and other family members. There was a point at age 7 or 8 where I stood up to my mother, she stopped the abuse, but started bringing me to her fathers to be abused even more by him. It was punishment for me. I remember riding in the car one day looking out the window and asking myself “why is she doing this?”. 10th grade comes, I start smoking pot and drinking, even though I hated both I forced myself to fit in. Later in my 20’s I found ecstasy, which was my favorite drug. Ate them like they were ‘pez’ because it gave me that feeling of joy, happiness, love and connection I so deeply wanted. At 22, I had the opportunity to move to LA and pursue an acting career, but it was my way out of the vicious cycle I was in. While in LA, I started to prostitute myself with gay men. (It was my way to get love and attention I so deeply craved that was not given by my own father) I stopped doing drugs, but was treating my body like a piece of meat and allowing others to do the same. Age 27, I started dancing at a men’s club and continued prostituting myself and then added in the drug addiction. Everything had come full circle! I continued to sleep with women to make myself feel better about all the gay sex I was having. Age 29, I couldn’t keep the mysterious life I was leading quiet and broke down. Started going to Narcotics Anonymous meetings for about a month, then went right back out and picked up where I left off. A few months after my 31st birthday, I was getting high by myself (isolation was a big thing with my addiction as with any addict) and I felt my heart getting ready to blow out of my chest, I thought to myself “There is got to be more to life than what I am doing.” That is when my life was spared. I entered recovery, started working the 12 steps and never looked back. At age 35, after I had finished working the Steps, I started to remember the abuse. The repressed memories continued for a year and a half, with different things triggering them throughout. Remembering them was probably one of the hardest things I have ever had to deal with. I was not good at feeling and this was very traumatic. The wall I had built came crumbling down. I lost weight, didn’t want to take responsibility and ran in the other direction. Today, I love my emotions and myself and couldn’t be any happier with the way things turned out. I hit a lot of bumps in the road on the way and wish things turned out differently, but at the end of the day, I needed those lessons to get to the person I am today, for that I am truly grateful. I hope this will help guide our interview, thank you for the opportunity to share my story. I could not think of a better person I would want to share it with first than YOU!!!! Much love, Jonathan xxoo