LGBT Foundation's video: Lesbian and Bisexual Women on Coming-Out: When and Where We Want - Claudia

Welcome to our vlog series on coming-out, when and where we want. This is part of the Lesbian and Bisexual Women’s Confidence Movement 2017, hosted by LGBT Foundation’s Women’s Programme We will amplify our voices, our experiences and our struggles. We will celebrate the ways in which we find confidence in ourselves and our communities. We will reclaim our identities and stories, recognising the differences between them. For more information about this campaign, visit: www.lgbt.foundation/confidence17 Follow across social media for the latest updates. The transcriptions for these vlogs are below. If you have any questions or feedback about this Confidence Movement, please email women@lgbt.foundation For media enquiries, please email media@lgbt.foundation -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Claudia [00:00:00] START [00:00:01 – 00:02:59] Hi, I’m Claudia. I run the Women’s Programme here at the LGBT Foundation. My coming out story erm kicks off at 18. So I come out previously as bi to a couple of friends but erm not really publically or to my family. So I got to uni, had my first girlfriend. Erm, when it met Christmas and announced that you know I had a girlfriend. I implicitly announced that I was gay and they were fine with it but I felt immediately they were disappointed and I presented something that was unacceptable. And deep down they wished it could’ve been different. So that was quite difficult and I did you know lose a couple of friends and erm changed my relationship with family members. But fundamentally, you know I focused on the fact that I still had a home to go to. I still had good friends and great spirits at uni. Erm but in response to that, I think the years that has followed whilst everyone has been okay, I still had experiences where people in my life asked me not to come out. So because I am femme presenting and you know people don’t make assumptions. Make assumptions about my sexuality all of the time and ever assume that I am gay, er so it’s easier for people to ask me to pretend that I am not. So I had a couple of situations where I have been asked to ‘you know could you stay in the closest.’ ‘Could you just not mention it’.‘ Could you just you know don’t bring up your girlfriend, don’t bring up your partner, don’t bring up what you do for your job because it make other people feel uncomfortable’. Erm, I can acknowledge and accept the fact that lots of those times I have gone "okay" because I don’t want to make people feel uncomfortable either. And sometimes you can’t just be bothered to fight it. Erm, I. You know I had jobs where I have decided it’s not worth coming out. Again, I can stay in the closest, I don’t, people don’t look at me and think ‘oh she’s gay’. So, I have, you know made life a little bit easier for myself or something and decided not to tell my colleagues that I am gay. Erm, I don’t think that makes me less proud. I don’t think that makes me less gay. I think it is a realistic situation and in the society that we live in. A lot of the context actually, where I really wanna be out. I really wanna be super gay. I wanna go to gay clubs and be like "hey, I’m a lesbian!" And people look at me and say no, no, you’re a straight girl. Look at my hair, look at the way I'm dressed, or they won’t let me in because basically they don’t believe I am gay. And there are times where I wish I could be and I can’t. Erm but luckily, I now work at the LGBT Foundation, I am a publically and professional lesbian. I couldn’t be happier, I am surrounded by really supportive people. But none of that takes out the fact the moment I step out of this bubble, society is that not accepting and can be really difficult and I come out every day. You know if I want to and if I wanna be my true authentic self, I have to come out every day. Thank you for listening. [00:03:00] FINISH