Marina Martinez-Bateman's video: A Lack of Compassion for Past Selves

ln this video, I talk about new revelations in my ongoing journey of growing this company. I realize that one of the reasons I’m having such a hard time making decisions about company growth is because I have been thinking about myself as a person who makes bad decisions. That comes directly from a lack of compassion for past selves. In the past I believed, wrongly, that if I stayed in toxic workplaces, I could defend the workers who had less power than I did. Even as I tried to fight back against abusive bosses from within, all I was doing was allowing that abuse to be well-funded and well-run. Because that is what I do. I create prosperity and if I create prosperity for abusive people, they’re gonna use it for for abusive actions. I’ve since realized what I did wrong in those situations, I’ve corrected my mistakes, and I’ve taken accountability for the ways that I harmed the people that I harmed. and through these actions, I have learned an incredible amount about being the kind of person I wanted to be. I’ve learned how to lead and work from my values. I’ve learned how a bunch of stuff I thought was essential to being “successful" was actually toxic garbage that was keeping me from the very success I was seeking. And I’m in a much better place today to make decisions because of this journey. But my internal perception of myself is still of someone who makes bad choices. Not just mistakes, but actual bad choices. Ironically, I am in a better position to make mistakes today than I have ever been. When I was younger a mistake could be in the difference between being housed and being homeless. Today that is not my reality. I have so much more room to make mistakes and learn from them and grow from them, and as a result of that my future growth from this point on is going to be incredible. Now that my problems are just problems and not existential threats, I have a lot of room to try new things and see what happens especially because I know how to recover now. And it’s a real fucking shame that it took me this long to get to this point and it’s an even further shame that so many people are not given this opportunity. Just think of all of the growth and the knowledge that we’re missing out on to because capitalism requires the majority of us to have to live on the knife edge of houselessness month to month. About Me: I'm Marina Martinez-Bateman, the CEO of New Coyote Consulting (newcoyote.com), an equity and communications firm from the Pacific-Northwest, and designer/author of The Planner for Doing Less (https://marinaisgo.gumroad.com/l/DoLess). Other places: https://instagram.com/marinaisgo https://twitter.com/marinaforhire https://www.tiktok.com/@marinaisgo https://twitch.tv/fatcatchat - I play the sims with my mic off for background noise