Melanie Anne Ahern's video: the story of the autumn queen

did i dress up a poem about social anxiety in a cute halloween costume and send it out into the world to ring doorbells and beg for candy lol wow what a notion HAPPY HALLOWEEN YOU SPOOPY POOPERS DONT EAT TOO MUCH HIGHLY PROCESSED SUGAR TONIGHT ⁂ poem by me// this is the story of the autumn queen she’s stylish and smart and has fantastic hygiene she has a royal crown she hardly wears because she doesn’t like getting odd looks and stares to be honest, for a queen, she’s really quite shy but man does she bake the meanest apple pie she takes her coffee with creme- just a drop as she watches each individual october leaf drop she is royal, yes, but only by a long and boring monarchical bloodline she spends most of her time just knitting a ton and staying up late at night thinking about all the stupid things she’s done and anytime the telephone rings she just defers to the answering machine so don’t expect her to pick up the receiver or she’ll fall ill with cold and fever and sometimes the postman has a package to bring (a box full of goodies and pumpkins and things) but whenever she hears the soft ring of the bell she hides in the corner and pretends she’s not well some of her best pals are the shadows on the wall they visit sooner as nights grow longer in fall and although to you that might seem quite bleak she likes them...they’re quiet...and never expect her to speak her closest friends are albums, novels, and flicks a movie won’t judge you or make your stomach feel sick unless it’s a horror of course, but to the queen, the horrors of real life are far worse when she goes to a party, which, let’s be honest, seldom occurs she’ll stand in the corner and flirt with the fir plants are more appealing to this royal betty because the palms don’t at all care if your palms are sweaty her favorite catchphrase is “I’ll just stay home” because no one can judge you when you’re on your own her favorite days are ones with rain clouds in the sky when it’s dreary and wet, no one invites you to come outside and despite all her fame, sitting up on her throne no one ever thought to ask her if she even liked being alone but whatever the case, i hope you can see that it’s not so easy being the autumn queen ⁂ Okay, from what I understand about the illness, social anxiety disorder is fairly common. And I imagine that’s especially true when you’re looking at a group of people who spend the majority of their social interactions through the internet (mE). I don’t know how exactly it manifests itself in others; this is just a small representation of my experience with it. I’m by no means casting a generalization over all who suffer from social anxiety, and this is by no means anything more than just a comical portrayal, a way of me dealing with it in myself, expressing how this has affected me in a way that’s easier than simply talking about it. I also was a bit concerned about there being little to no connection between social anxiety and the autumn season. I worried I would just be mashing two entirely different subjects together, trying to make them fit. And maybe it came off that way. But, at least for me, there’s some subconscious, deep-seated friendship between the two. Fall, to me, feels very much like solitude. Maybe it’s the dry, empty air or the fear of the Halloween season or how even in a forest, all the trees suddenly become so isolated from one another, with no leaves to brush up against their fellow neighbors. Or maybe I’m just really forcing this metaphor I dunno. ALAS, this description is already far too long and far too dull and far too off topic, so my apologies if you were just looking here for the song title lol. If you’ve made it this far, I’d love to hear your thoughts about social anxiety or mental illness in general or your favorite poet or whether or not deciduous trees have feelings. Comment here, DM me on Twitter, pen me an essay via carrier pigeon, or whatever works best for you. Gobs of love to anyone who willingly read through all of this lol ily guys ⁂ music// overture by oh!hello ☞ https://www.instagram.com/melanieanneahern ☞ https://twitter.com/nnelanie ☞ snapchat // melanieahern (i never use it tbh lol srry) if ur down this far comment something about candy corn idk