Mickeybeast's video: AMV

HD Recommended + Headphones for full experience. __________________________ SONG:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AorS7t6GlKE&list=PLDAA4687241EB7820&index=430&t=0s | Wolf’s Rain | Berserk | Kyoukai No Kanata | Kokoro Ga Sakebitagatterunda | Demon Slayer | Tokyo Ghoul | My Hero Academia | Rebuild of Evangelion | Devilman Crybaby | Gangsta | Kizumonogatari | Violet Evergarden | Mo dao zu shi | Vinland Saga | Castlevania | __________________________ I found it so hard to vent about this pain, every video I started just falls apart. Part of me just felt like I shouldn’t even waste any more time thinking about it, another part of me felt guilty for even feeling this..it's just such a complicated mess of emotions. Something I’m still trying to figure out. I’ve worked so hard to not let this pain consume me for the past year and half, but I think I will always carry the scars from it. It really changed me, for the worst and for the best. It is strange to have this feeling of wishing I never met this person, someone that psychologically tormented me for years for the sake of their feelings but at the sametime be so deeply appreciated by that pain. I always had a hard time defending myself due to dealing with physical, mental and sexual abuse I dealt through out my whole childhood. I’m so used to that kind of pain, that I felt like it was my only way to give my love to people to cope with it. I’ve been stuck in a deep cycle of depression all my life because of it and It made me let in the wrong people. Finally breaking away from this person was the rock bottom I needed, and I thought I had a lot of those over the years. It put me into a self healing journey of loving myself and finally starting to overcome my own mental illness. I’m finally done defending the people that hurt me. I deserve better.