WetpaintTV's video: Everything I Know I Learned From Serena

http://www.wetpaint.com/gossip-girl - Visit us for more Gossip Girl exclusives, gossip, and spoilers! http://www.facebook.com/GossipGirlFansite - Like us on Facebook! http://www.twitter.com/GGWetpaint - Follow us on Twitter! Hey, GGers, I'm Jager Weatherby from http://www.Wetpaint.com, and I'm here to talk about Serena van der Woodsen. Sure, some people may idolize Gandhi or Mother Theresa, but neither of them even has blonde hair! That's why I prefer to model my life after the wisest woman ever to appear topless on the cover of European tabloids: Gossip Girl's Serena. Here are a few kernels of wisdom I've picked up from the easy-breezy Upper East Side princess. Number one: Anyone who gets mad at you is in love with you — or jealous. From Jenny Humphrey to Carter Baizen to Ben Donovan, pretty much everyone who's ever tried to take S down did so because they just couldn't handle how awesome she is. So naturally I should just assume that when my boss yells at me for slacking, it's because she can't handle how perfectly tousled my hair is, right? Number two: There's no such thing as too much skin. Going to a job interview? Undo a few buttons so they know that both the girls are very interested in the position. Headed for a funeral? To show respect for the deceased, your top should be black... and your pants should be invisible. Number three: Friendship means never having to say, "I'm planning to destroy you." You know, all my BFF does is support me and lend a sympathetic ear. She's never once slept with my boyfriend, tried to get me kicked out of school, or mailed a list of my indiscretions to the Queen of Monaco. Clearly, compared to Serena and Blair, she's been slacking. How do I know she loves me if she never even pushes me into a fountain? Number four: The hottest men are the most unattainable ones. Why date a guy your own age when you can sex up a married congressman? And hey, wouldn't your boyfriend be dreamier if he were also your stepbrother with whom you share a sibling? It's a good thing Eric's gay, or Serena probably would have made a play for the ultimate off-limits boy by now. Last, but definitely not least, number five: Actions don't have consequences. Wait, that only works if you're a billionaire who's built like a Barbie doll? Whatever, I'm gonna go steal a polo pony. For more Gossip Girl goodness, jet-set on over to our Facebook page at http://www.Facebook.com/GossipGirlFansite, and make sure to check out our full coverage at http://www.Wetpaint.com/gossip-girl. You know you want to — XOXO!