asondheim's video: Jordanian Bedouin rababa from a distance

Jordanian Bedouin rababa, from a distance my voice appears about half-way on - stay awake for this rare occurrence (and for good reason), recorder set up next to a window, at a distance so that the sound is embedded in someone else's daily life. the rababa is a one-string bowed instrument stretched over a saddle-like wooden frame, front and back, i'm using a 'salt and pepper bow,' black and white horsehair which has a deeper cut, pull, on the string. Yes, writing and working at this pace takes its toll . It's as if everything I do has to have Meaning or an alternative meaning or something that carries it some way some ways away from the kind of furious pace I set for myself. On one hand the furious pace on the other hand trying to round it up as if it were some sort of classical aphorism . Something out of the Greek Anthology. Something out of Karl Kraus. I wish this was all true I wish this were all true. But it's; not there's only a finite amount of time . Everything I do now at my age has a horizon a metal or mineral curtain that approaches with every breath I take. This happens to all of us but in this case in the case when you're older there's always a limited view into the future and then everything stops everything stops. These long forms of music in a way deal with that. They can take Me a long way away from this. I noticed that my work is tending more towards a long form on one hand and towards annihilation on the other - recognition - such is the limit. I like to think of it as limit working or working the limit . I'd like to think that I'm relevant not only to people "of my own age" but to people who might come across this writing and have no idea who I am or what I am, people who might listen to the music and say yes that's it. This is an incredible conceit . This is unbelievable conceit. I don't know how else to behave. I notice that more and more I'm beginning to write apologies. I'll appear at a Zoom meeting or having a conversation with someone and will afterwards send a letter of apology. I'm not sure what I'm saying or what this speed does to me. It's not chemical. I drink coffee. But it's not chemical I don't know what it is. I've always worked fast but now it seems that is if an end might be in sight I work faster than ever. Enough of me! (For Azure)