g4rdenspoon's video: I hate being a mechanic

Twitter: http://twitter.com/ #!/g4rdenspoon I met this chap called Bob, he's a car mechanic in Kidderminster, Birmingham. He looked pretty sad, so I asked him to tell me what the problem was. He sat down and told me, so I filmed it. In case you can't quite decipher his accent I wrote down everything he said. The only thing I know how to do is fix cars, and apparently I'm not very good at it. The lads at the garage are always picking on me, 20 years I've worked there and unless I make the rounds of tea mine always ends up with slug in the bottom of the cup, or dog turd, or one of the bosses toenails. Alan; that's the boss, handed me 13mil spanner and told me to replace the head-gasket on Renault Megane, I told him, 'I'll need more than a spanner, where's the rest of the tools?' 'Don't be such a wet blanket', he said 'a proper mechanic can fix anything with a 13mil spanner' 'But the engine cover has 11mil bolts' I said 'Well that's close enough', he suggested. At which point I became quite angry, the rest of the lads didn't help, they chucked biscuits at me while I was stamping my feet, I was shouting, 'stop picking on me -- it's not fair', and all they did was film me on their mobile phones. They always do that, and then post it on facebook, I'm a laughing stock because of those tossers. You may notice that my hands are dirty, that's oil, the rest of the lads use latex gloves, but I'm not allowed. I asked Alan, 'why can't I use those gloves?' 'You don't need them,' he said, 'dermatitis is good for the skin' I looked up dermatitis in the internet, and apparently it's not good for the skin, it's actually quite bad, I think he might be lying to me. There's a calendar of naked women on the wall of the office, but I'm not allowed to look at it. Alan said, 'if I dare to take even a glimpse at those topless lovelies, he'll tell my wife.' But I haven't got a wife, at least I don't any more, she divorced me for having an affair, which I wasn't, but Alan can be very persuasive. I did meet a new woman six months back, I made the mistake of introducing her to lads, she soon fucked off, Alan told her that he's always catching me in office with my wang out. Anyway, truth is I can't afford luxuries like having a girlfriend, as I'm still only on £5.93 an hour, plus I get deductions for damages. The boss won't give any more because he said I'm not very productive, but I don't see him having to remove wheel-nuts with his teeth. g4rdenspoon facebook page: http://www.facebook.com/pages/G4rdenspoon/284634921659121?ref=stream