stashhjonas's video: Invincible: 7

Jack left the dormitory shortly after, only to keep the obvious gazes at me too nerve-wrecking to handle. From the night before he left to that present moment, I could still continuously feel his hands groping each component of my body, his fingernails tearing tenderly against my chilled skin. But as he left, with a single touch to my fingers, with a simple stare that read the apologetic words he couldn't bare to say, the feelings of intimate love disintegrated. And once more, I didn't know where I stood with Jack. Several days passed, but Jack made no contact with me. Ava, who had season tickets to all the Arsenal games she could attend, took me to several of his matches. He played well, consistent, without any burden on his shoulders to distract him. My roommate rambled on and on after the match against Blackburn that ended without any goals, but I zoned her out. I spotted several of the superficial girlfriends of the footballers being escorted to the locker rooms and an idea, a peculiar idea that rushed through my body and made me feel rebellious again, slipped into mind. "Ava, I'll meet you back for rehearsal tonight," I said suddenly, surprised with the confidence embedded in my voice. She looked at me strangely, but didn't question me, and for this I was grateful for because I was able to sneak my way into the locker rooms with the other women. I stood alone, feeling my heart travel its way up to my throat. It began to beat ferociously, like an evolving beast waiting to gnaw its way through my nerves, my muscles, and my skin. But I avoided the inquisitive stares from the women, my focal point being where the footballers were changing. At that moment, I began to wonder why I was there to begin with. Was I being stupid, following Jack, keeping a close eye on him? Was I becoming obsessive, longing desperately to hold my old companion, my old partner, in my arms on the rainy, idle Sunday afternoons? Was I holding onto a dream that he had given up on two years ago? And then the eeriness of the possibilities of him with another girl engulfed my insecure conscience. Could this be the reason why he avoided me now, because he was with another girl? Could he be calling another one beautiful, sharing moments on rooftops with— "Charlotte Watson, what a surprise." The familiar voice blocked the rest of my vacillations before they swallowed me whole, and I stopped thinking, I stopped processing everything around me as he stepped forward in his gray sweats and plain white T-shirt. So simple, yet so ideal. "I hope I'm not . . . I'm not becoming a nuisance, Jack," I replied quickly, my voice low and powerless. I had never felt like he was superior to me, for we were always equal and always on the same page. But he had the advantage; he was a step ahead of me with his dreams, and because of this I scrambled my feet awkwardly and hunched my shoulders to guard my falling walls as my old friend let out a small chuckle to wipe away the growing fear in my bosom. "You've never been a nuisance, Char," he reciprocated lightly. I felt his arm, his built and warm arm, curl itself around my neck and he pinched my earlobe playfully. I blushed unknowingly as he led me to his car, and I didn't feel like a sudden fool when I got into the passenger seat without asking him where we were going. With Jack, I didn't have to ask. I just followed his shadow, like the innocent puppy I had always been, and I was okay with this. It seemed as though we had been driving for hours, and we had, for the sun had fallen and the sky had grown so dark that the blackened streets blended well with the night sky. I didn't care that I was currently missing rehearsal for my upcoming ballet recital, because I was holding Jack's hand and he had led me to an empty meadow with a clear sky and I was sitting between his legs, snuggling close to his heart as we stared up to the moon as if we were awaiting answers. His face was close to my neck, his lips breathing upon the crook of my ear with his chin settled on my shoulder. I swallowed a ball of spit as my body began to sweat nervously as his hands moved underneath my shirt, dwelling upon my hipbones. It could've bothered me before, maybe, but I threw my head back with great pleasure because I felt like I could conquer the world if he, Jack, remained by my side forever. But deep down in my un-wholly conscience, uncertainty was beginning to develop, like magma waiting and waiting until the precise moment to explode from the volcano. Maybe I felt like he wanted me too, but did he need me the way I needed him? And this deep uncertainty rested in the whole of my heart, but I ignored it like an open cut delving deeper and deeper until the pain would soon become too unbearable to muster. Yet, I remained in his arms, believing us to be invincible.